You know who you are. You are smart, savvy, capable and accomplished. You work hard, you play hard and admittedly you run more masculine energy than most men. And it’s becoming more and more prominent in your life as this particular imbalance surfaces to be healed. Now is the time.
(Having said this, not all women who run masculine energy are fragmented. If you’re at peace within, this content does not apply but you may find it interesting anyway. Read on!)
The origins of this coping mechanism (running masculine energy) are usually based in childhood on the spectrum of trauma, ranging from disappointment or neglect to full-on, outright abuse, often involving some facet of your sexuality. To survive, you implemented an adaptation; the beliefs, thoughts, words, actions and behaviors of patriarchal masculine power.
As you grew up, the seed grew. The need to control, dominate or manipulate people and circumstances became a way-of-being. Any other approach was dangerous, potentially risking more abuse. Rather than allowing that to happen, you subconsciously became a fierce self-protector physically, psychologically and emotionally; your heart completely closed to all energies feminine. In the (mis)perception of the girl-child within, to be feminine was synonymous with being a victim.
As an adult, powering through life, you now embody masculine energy as a default; no conscious thought required. It emanates from you in invisible waves that resonate (or not) with others. It impacts your relationships with both men and women and all facets of life, but it is especially pronounced in your dating life.
Let’s face it: masculine energy-running women attract feminine energy-running men. Period. If that’s what you want, no problem. However, from the conversations I have with women who are ready for relationships, they want to meet serious prospects who have no need or desire to be eclipsed by your version of masculinity.
In a connection between a man and a woman, there can be only one person running dominant masculine energy. Understand: If you’re already doing it, that job is filled and you’ll continue to attract men who are less energetically-manly than you.
Feminine and masculine energies must be balanced within relationship. Interestingly, without any discussion or negotiation required, the energies silently and naturally find equilibrium and flow. It’s an inherent quality in human connection, even in same-sex dynamics.
So how do you make the subtle and not-so-subtle shifts toward success in running more feminine energy?
Your journey is unique to you, and you will find your own way, but here are 5 keys to open the portal and get you moving in a fresh, feminine direction:
- Understand that the systems your inner wisdom once put in place were purposeful to protect you. They are no longer needed. You are safe.
- Make a commitment to noticing your beliefs, thoughts, works and actions. They will reveal precisely where the greatest growth opportunities lie. Increased self-awareness is vital to this process.
- Closely examine trigger words like emotional intimacy, trust, vulnerability, receiving, allowing, femininity, etc. Words that are ‘charged’ for you are encoded with your greatest and quickest healing opportunities.
- Take action. Begin with little things to ensure continued progress.
- Do you try to control people or situations? Let others be who they are and do whatever they do. Allow circumstances to unfold without your input or direction. Notice the discomfort in yourself as you increase your understanding that you can never really control anything.
- Are you a talker who needs to be heard or argues to make a point? Actively listen more. Silence is a powerful tool not exercised enough!
- Are you a dominant energy in your business or social circles? If so, this is your chance to receive, and allow the men around you to lead. In this exercise, you will learn how to increase trust.
- Be gentle and allow yourself to proceed at a pace that’s comfortable. There’s no rush. You will soon notice that very little effort more than looking more closely at your default patterns results in rapid forward momentum.
You might wonder how I speak with such authority. Only by living the dream, baby, yet it was not of the fantastical kind. I ran way more masculine energy than most men I knew to protect myself. I awakened one day to realize I had a closed, wounded, atrophied heart. Ouch. I didn’t even know I was exhibiting this behavior, yet I knew something was quite awry and I had to somehow shift my vibration. I decided that no matter what, I wanted love to flow through me again; just like it had before I had been molested. The innocent child within was ready to emerge from her self-imposed
I wanted to trust. I wanted to be protected and nurtured by healthy men. I wanted to embody aspects of true femininity. And I wanted to show other women that it’s safe to embody and emanate softer, gentler feminine energy in complement to the clear, strong masculine. Ladies, the threat is gone. It’s time to re-member and integrate the tender vulnerability that is our greatest power as women. It nurtures. It heals. And it has the ability to transform the entire planet.
We fear that we will be crushed if we let down our guard, yet quite the opposite is true; we gain a delicate beauty that is tender, precious, and inherently strong in ways that are distinctly feminine. And nurturing, masculine energy-running men must appear as a direct result.
For me it was a journey; the transformation didn’t happen overnight, but every time my resolve wavered, I turned within to the remembrance of the child who knew there was a gift on the other side of trauma. There had to be. I decided that these events would not be in vain. I would not accept anything less. They would eventually serve some higher purpose, but first I had to surrender, allow and receive my birthright as a woman; true, gentle femininity in its purest expression.
I have walked this path for us all, blossoming fully into my divine feminine and emerging on the other side. Will you join me in setting aside the masculine torch, embracing your new, feminine power and exploring what’s truly possible for you through this lens?