There’s much talk – especially within spiritual communities – about ease and grace… as in, making major shifts and everyday life adaptations with ease and grace. Admittedly that is how most of us ultimately desire to experience grand change, but the historic collective reality is that adversity has informed and shaped personal transformation.
I see that shifting. We have options now; neutrality is one of them.
In the past, my way of thinking categorized life events in two ways: 1) good, or 2) bad.
When external outpicturing – events as a reflection of myself – was agreeable to my ego/perception/interpretation and I subsequently labeled these events “good” – landing a new, lucrative longterm contract, being newly-partnered romantically, seeing my niece being born, enjoying the benefits of a strong body, or tucking enough money into my mattress to sustain my lifestyle for a few years – I gave myself permission to breathe freely; to be fully engaged with life.
When external outpicturing – events as a reflection of myself – was disagreeable to my ego/perception/interpretation and I subsequently labeled these events “bad” – getting sick for so long that it ends in a job termination, witnessing a fatal car accident, losing a lawsuit, being evicted – I felt wobbly, uncertain or fragile.
Things had to be just so in my world.
The external needed to look, be and feel a certain way or I was unsettled.
Unintentionally, I was templating the idea of how things should be onto what-was based on something that wasn’t even conscious. It was operating and shaping my life without question or examination. (Oh, my! Let me tell you THAT was a brutal moment of realization! As humans, we crack me up. 😁)
How precarious was this!? The ever-changing landscape of life could put me into a spin at any moment with a mere change of circumstance, that was not in my ability to control, or maybe even influence. My ability to live fully desperately depended on something that was inevitably going to shift. How scary. Earth and Her seasons are the perfect example.
With four seasons every year, in each moment one season is fading and another is emerging. Other examples include: ebb and flow (ocean tides); contraction and expansion (the cosmos, based on a new cosmological model), inhalation and exhalation (human lung function). They all show me that systems (just like circumstances) have their expression based on their true nature and their unique purpose-for-being.
I cannot envision a tree negotiating the terms of death with the Divine so as to avoid it. Neither can I envision a new planet bursting into creation as being happy. They simply “do their nature” until circumstances shift so that they no longer “do their nature” and that energy finds another form by which to express energy’s vitality. There is no good or bad inherent to the ocean, cosmos or human physiology. They just are. They are doing their nature. Circumstances seem to me to be the same.
There is a spectrum on which we collectively agree. One pole is “good” happenings. The opposite pole is “bad” happenings and in between are happenings that lean to one end or the other.
It occurred to me that I could choose not to engage in spectrum thinking; that maybe life events just are… and they can be without my need to intervene by labeling them good or bad. I could stand as an objective witness to what-is and allow its purpose to be fulfilled without any attachment throughout the process. I could stand and emanate genuine curiosity and wonder instead of judgement, which would open flow and accelerate the learning.
As time passed, I was no longer suited to label events as good or bad. There was something more for me. Neutrality wanted to occupy a larger landscape within me. As a result, something beautiful shifted. A welcome and warm neutrality has replaced my personal yearning for grace and ease (and all the other ways I learned that life “should” be unfolding for me). What I experience now is a vastness beyond graceful (desired, good) or adverse (undesirable, bad). I call it Divine.
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